Our Epistle lesson is about marriage (August 23, 2009)
By Rev. Bert Thompson

Our bulletin cover has a picture of a wedding. Our Epistle lesson is about marriage. We just sang a prayer for all married couples. Might this sermon be about marriage? Yes, it might be!

In fairy tales we hear the expression: “They lived happily ever after.” Is this possible? Marriage is the foundation of the family but “happily ever after” many times is only a fairy tale. However, we still want “happily ever after”. From childhood, little girls plan their weddings. The early days of marriage are filled with hope and promise. But soon reality hits. Of those who don’t get divorced, many wish they were.

Is this what it’s all about?

God did not design marriage to be like this. In the beginning, God made them male and female. God said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.” From one man – from Adam, God makes another person: Eve; the same flesh and bones, but wonderfully different, and unites this difference back into one flesh in marriage. There’s no such thing as marriage for two of the same sex. And then God says “What God has joined together – let no one put asunder.”

What’s gone wrong in God’s world?

You know the answer. Sin is the answer. We sin against each other in thought, word and deed. Sins are committed without repentance. Sins are repented of but not forgiven by our spouse. Past sins are used as clubs to beat each other. The blessed estate of marriage becomes something to endure. Hearts grow cold. Former lovers go through the motions just for the kids.

”Most men live lives of quiet desperation.” So wrote Henry David Thoreau. Many marriages are lives of quiet desperation. Sheets are stained with the tears that no one sees. Pillows are used to muffle the sobs that no one hears. Man has made evil the very thing God has designed for our good!

How has God designed marriage for our good? God uses real events in real time to show us what God designs for those who love Him. History shows what God has designed for us.

For example, the drowning of the wicked in Noah’s time and the drowning of the enemy army of Pharaoh in the Red Sea are pictures of what happens in Baptism when all our sins are drowned.

The blood of the innocent lamb killed in Passover and yeast free bread eaten in haste in the prison break from Egyptian slavery are pictures of our hasty escape from our prison of sin through the blood of Jesus Christ, the innocent Lamb of God.

Earthly events are vivid pictures of eternal reality. They are given by God to show Who God is and what He has done for us. Marriage is one of those God-given pictures.

But people don’t listen to God. People misuse marriage as they misuse God’s Word. They say,
“Look, the Bible says ‘wives, submit to your own husbands…’ so you wives had better obey God
and submit.” They refuse to listen to what God really means.

What does God mean? What is God’s purpose for marriage?

God has designed marriage as a picture of Who He is. God has designed marriage to show what He has done for the whole world. Therefore, what type of picture does God design for marriage?

The key to God’s picture of marriage is the word: “submit”. But for us, real total submission is impossible. Nobody wants to submit. Children do not want to submit to their parents. Spouses do not want to submit to each other. Everyone wants to be his or her own boss. Because of our rebellious Old Nature inside us, God demands the very thing we cannot do. God demands submission, because submission is the only way things will work.

Yes, wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord because husbands are to submit to God the Father, just as Christ submitted to His Father. Husbands are to treat their wives the same way Christ treated His Bride, the Church of all believers.

But this word “submission” sticks in our throats. We don’t like this word even if Christ submits to His Father in all things and even if husbands submit to Christ and wives submit to their husbands. We don’t like this word because the meaning we have attached to “submit” is different than the meaning God attaches to it. Just as the word “gay” has totally changed in meaning in the last 50 years, so the word “submit” has changed.

To God, “submit” means receiving what He wants to give us.

Jesus willingly submitted to His Father in heaven and received what His Father wished to give Him, even the very words He spoke to His disciples. The Church submits to Christ Her Bridegroom, and willingly receives the gifts He wishes to give her.

Your action of kneeling for Confession and Absolution signifies that you are submitting; that is, you are willingly receiving the gifts of forgiveness, life and salvation that Christ wants to give you. When you kneel at this altar, you are submitting yourselves to receive the Body and Blood of Christ.

But we still wonder if this is fair. We ask, “Who has to submit the most in this relationship?” The answer is Christ. Christ submitted to the shame of the cross. Christ received from His Father the punishment for all our sins. This is truly not fair, because Christ received the Hell that was rightfully ours.

Being above the Church in all things, He lowered Himself beneath His Church as all her sins poured down on Him.

In the same way, husbands are given this joy of serving their wives in the same giving, unselfish way, not looking for fairness, but bowing to serve.

“Pastor, my wife doesn’t submit to me. What should I do?” Treat her the way Christ treated His Bride. What did Christ do when His Bride, the Church, did not submit to Him? He stretched out His arms toward Her and died in Her place for Her sins. She didn’t ask or even deserve it; He just did what had to be done.

Husbands, treat your wives in the same way. In so doing, you’ll be a picture of Christ, showing how God loves the world. Your marriage is to be a picture of how God loves the world.

Wives, you are a picture of the Bride of Christ. Live as the holy Christian Church, holy and blameless, shining as a light in this dark, sinful world; submitting, that is, receiving from your husbands as from Christ and in so doing, showing the world the relationship between Christ and His beloved Bride, the Church of all believers.

If God grants the blessing of children, submit yourselves to the gift of creation that God has placed in your bodies.

And what if you are not married? What can you do? You can honor and promote this picture of God’s love for us. Children, honor your father and your mother as icons, as beautiful pictures of Christ and His Bride. If you are older and unmarried point to and uphold this sacred image of marriage.

God always makes things visible for us. He takes the very stuff of creation and through it, shows us Himself. God takes simple water and applies His Name to it and through it washes away our sins. God takes simple wheat and wine and nourishes us with the Body and Blood of His Son. God takes simple words: “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”; “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” God then adds the answer, “I do.” In so doing, God creates a picture of His love for us.

Is this easy to do? No way! In fact, this is impossible. We will always fail at it. But God gives us no choice. We must be perfect. How can we ever do this? We cannot. But Christ can.

Christ has submitted perfectly for us. He has submitted to His Father in our place and received from His Father all the gifts that He gives to us. He gives us the Holy Spirit, Who enables us to submit and receive the gifts Christ has for us.

Through His gifts of Word and Sacrament, we receive His strength to live as an picture of Christ, a picture of His Bride and a picture of the relationship between the two.

You’ve heard the expression: “Don’t try this at home, kids” – in other words, this is too dangerous. Well, don’t try to live like this without the Holy Spirit, without God’s Word and without Baptism and the Body and Blood of Christ. You will fail. Instead, live this life in Christ Who has done it for you. Christ has already submitted perfectly in your place.

As the Holy Spirit leads you to submit to God’s Word and Sacrament, as you receive His Word and water and Body and Blood, as you are led to repent of your sins, as you see that all the sins of you and your spouse have already been forgiven, you will grow in your ability to be the shining icon, the picture of the love between Christ and His Bride, the Church of all believers.

In Christ, you willingly submit to each other, receiving each other’s gifts, as you already receive the gifts of Christ’s submission to His Father. God grant it, for Jesus’ sake. Amen.